i don't know what's going to happen to me
i don't know what i'll be
i flunk at my exams
i can't concentrate on anything
i don't know what's going to happen to them
i don't know what's going to happen to me
it won't be long for that day to arrive
the day when i realise that i'm opening a door to an empty house
what do they expect ?
im only 16
i have nowhere else to go
unlike them , all grown up
having their own lives
so it'll be just me
in that empty house
even when i'm at school
nothing changes
it just bring me loneliness and dead jealous
knowing that everyone else has a life waiting for them at home
i....i don't know about me
what is to become of me ?
i don't feel like i'll have a future at all
all those fantasies of having a great career and a loving family
will it all be just fake ?
im scared to face tomorrow
school life does'nt matter to me anymore
all i think about is tomorrow ,
when i get older , and death
i'll die alone
im scared of marriage
i don't want to repeat history
i'd rather be alone than getting hurt
it doesn't really matter
im feeling all alone as it is.
oh , crap .
i don't know what has gotten into me .
im actually missing PS
maybe it's because of all these madness i've been through in TGB
to be honest , it's not that bad actually . i got great friends , great classmates , teachers are superb and i think the im getting the chance to actually ENJOY art as i take it as the 10th subject
but...
i don't know
it's like a big part of me is
gone
mostly , the stress bit started with the HUGE PILING HOMEWORKS that made me wanna dump it all in the Dead Sea
i just don't know why .
i'ts like a have a curse in me to be this lazy
well (pfftt...) i AM lazy to start with
but...
DUDE , this is lazy that has taken to the next level !\
i don't know myself anymore .
im losing interest in studying , practically flunking in my exams and not budge a single care
what happened to the girl who always work her butt off for an exam , regardless of what subject it is (at the last minute. HOHO) ?
i don't know .
i'm losing so many things in my life right now.
maybe that is one of the reason why .
okay back to the PS part .
i've dreamed about Pasir Salak for like FOUR TIMES this week
woahh , i must be missing everyone
but...
im sure that they're not missing me as much as i am
im sure that they;re thinking that im a total asshole now , as im not replying to some of their texts
it's not like that , im REALLY the kind of person that's not into these kind of texting n stuff
my mom FORCED me to buy the frikkin phone , for god's sake !
it's just that... i wanted to see them
but im not sure if they missed me.
who am i anyway ?
i was just a mere shadow back then.
and now too.
it will never change.
that's right.
im just a meek shadow that everyone has to pass through everyday.