pieces of my mind
Saturday, February 5, 2011
hiding myself in the corner
minus today , only
TWO DAYS TO GO .
GODKNOWS what awaits me there .
i've been having nervous breakdowns and a lil something going on with my confidence for the past few days .
it's giving me goosebumps , if you ask me .
why am i having those insanity streaks with my confidence ? -_________-
this is soo embarassing .
but ok , im gonna tell it anyway .
the first day i got back home , my mom suddenly asked me ,
"you know what , mommy would really like to see you wearing a shawl . it looks so lovely on other girls"
i went O.O
i know that one of these days people kept coming to me and said how feminine i've become lately
but THIS ?
damnit -.-
at first i was a bit reluctant , but then i tried going out WEARING THAT .
not bad , not bad at all .
i do look different , though i GOTTA do something bout those messy twirls (i did something wrong with it i guess)
well , i always wanted to look more emo and scene .
i love hiding myself in the corner
i love hiding myself in the corner
never thought of these stuffs though .
but something inside of my head tells me that im not worth it .
i mean come on ! only those hot and well-socialized girls wear this things .
who am i to join in the crowd ?
i gotta say , my self-confidence was in jeopardy whenever im out wearing that .
it's like i can imagine those people , how they will be saying things about me when they see me like this .
duhh , i have always been in the nerd and geeky crowd in my school .
and i still do feel like i'm not accepted .
it's gonna be a while before i have some confidence to go near shawls again .